


Wasted

by doodnoice



Category: Bully: Scholarship Edition
Genre: Drug Use, Explicit Language, F/M, Reader Insert, Reader-Insert, Recreational Drug Use, reader - Freeform, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2308088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodnoice/pseuds/doodnoice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were an angel sent by sedatives and pills, you made him feel challenged and less alone in the darkness of his mind. He knew you weren't real; you could never be real, because hallucinations were just what they were. </p><p>But then he saw you, really saw you, standing by the gate in front of the only school that would take him now, but you weren't the same girl that resided in his head. You were pathetic, weak and fragile, but he could change that.</p><p>[Gary Smith/Reader]<br/>dicont.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. summer forever

It had taken Gary Smith a total of an hour to convince his parents that the whole fiasco last year had simply been a hoax, an elaborate gag he constructed because he wanted attention, attention they never gave him. He blamed them for his so-called "problems", the long list of disorders and unwarranted defiance against authority.

It was their fault. They were the ones that fucked up the one job that truly mattered, the job that shaped _him_ into what he was now--a victim in the face of neglectful parenting. And they believed him; they even felt guilty, but not guilty enough to let him bypass a trip to a new psychiatrist and prove his case to a more qualified judge.

It had taken six seconds in the psychiatrist's office for Gary to realize he would not be getting away with his deeds. The woman his parents had set him up with was a rigid picture of the perfect doctor. Everything about her screamed order, so imagine how she felt upon reading Gary's extensive history of chaos.

Gary didn't have to imagine, the slip she gave his parents was answer enough.

Summer was supposed to be a haven for kids his age. He was supposed to be free for three months of ecstasy; he was supposed to do exciting things he had never done before: make new friends, go places, meet a girl and have a fling. But, despite this expectation,--as if these things defined him as an outlier for not having experienced them--he felt no urge to do any of it, not that he had a choice.

Locked up in what, from the outside, could pass as a prison, Gary spent his days surrounded by orderlies and nurses as he wasted away in the hot, musky asylum. For weeks he was poked and prodded by doctors who cared more about reaching a quota than solving the medical mystery that was his mental state. Not that Gary particularly minded; they tended to ignore the ones with the most annoying complications.

As long as you took your pills, you were "recovering", but Gary never took his pills and eventually they noticed.

After that, they were on him like maggots in a dead carcass.

He had shared a room with another boy his age, and as annoying and pathetic he was, he provided Gary the most interesting entertainment he could find. But, his rooming was cut short when the doctors finally got tired of Gary's fussing, and to avoid any further trouble, forced Gary into solitary confinement.

His therapist said it would be "good" for him and it would allow him "time alone to think" about what he had done. But for Gary, the thinking had never stopped, it just became less useful, less proactive. But he was always thinking. He lived for future schemes, breathed mischief and drank dishonesty.

He would never forget what landed him in the asylum, though. He needed to redeem himself from his past failures and avoid the moths that ate holes in his plans last year.

Moths named Jimmy Hopkins and Peter Kowalski. Perhaps not Pete so much, he was practically a fly, harmless, but just annoying enough to justify squashing. Jimmy, however, was Gary's biggest problem. Jimmy was the incarnation of Gary's crash into a deep dark place where even the pills couldn't touch.

As the days passed and solitary confinement began to settle his stomach in a tight knot and his brain into a stone cold stupor, he could barely find comfort in "winning" against the doctors anymore. They had more power than him, they always had more power than him, he was just too stubborn to realize it.

They forced him to swallow pastel pinks, reds and blues, that made him throw up colors that spelled anger, and defeat, but he could do nothing about it. With each pill and reaction, Gary lost a battle and eventually lost himself.

But then, you came. You arrived like a dream, whispering in his ear words of encouragement and caring. He knew he was hallucinating, but decided he rather liked the company and conversed with you, quietly in his head to avoid giving the doctors more material to add to his résumé of the clinically insane.

You gave Gary hope, you made him follow the voice buried deep beneath his skin, pushed him to speak up and resume the pleasures Gary often pursued.

Soon, he was back to tonguing his medication and faking doctors into believing his mental health was improving, but it wasn't. His lying was. However, you never disappeared from the back of Gary's mind, and for a while, he wondered if it were really the pills that brought you to him or if his imagination was finally getting the best of him. Either way, Gary didn't care, so long as you stayed.

And you did, for a while, and Gary was happy.


	2. home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inner contemplation with an inner complication.

chapter two: home

Gary didn't need a doctor to tell him that the girl straddling his hips was not real--that the way you looked at him, with such need and want and deviousness was just a figment of his fucked up imagination and the repressed sexual desires he could never fufill because of his incarceration.

He never felt this way with anyone else, and technically he still hasn't. You weren't just "anyone", you were something special. You were his and you were the only thing that he bothered listening to because you explained his knotted, million mile thoughts in clearer more concise ways.

Not to mention, you were ten times more attractive than the empty space his room provided.

You sighed, as if noticing Gary's mind wandering from your previous "conversation" to his "feelings" about a topic you found... boring.

"Why do you do that?" you asked, gingerly playing your fingers across his chest, pouting like an innocent child.

Gary felt it necessary to give you a response, as if it actually mattered and as if you were his concerned girlfriend, not merely a fictitious idea that kept him company while he waited for the days to pass and the pills to react with the acid in his stomach.

"Do what?" Gary questioned.

You giggled, one of those girly, flirtatious giggles that set Gary's teeth on edge. You were mocking him.

"Drift off while we talk..." you explained in a low murmur as you curved into him and pressed airy kisses against his neck, your breasts sliding against his chest and for the second time that day, Gary wished he could feel you. "Do I bore you?"

Of course not, is what would have been an appropriate response. You didn't bore him, because Gary didn't bore himself, but he knew you didn't want a response so redundant and expected.

Gary understood you like he understood himself, and so he replied sarcastically, asking a question of his own to combat the obvious trap you set for him. "What do you think?"

That answer garnered the tiniest of quirks from your lips, but also resulted in you removing yourself from that oh, so wonderful position on top of him. You now sat in the only chair in his room, positioned awkwardly in the middle of his small cell, facing the bed.

Gary wasn't any less warm or any more cold than he had been previously, but he was somehow less comfortable. He sat up and ran a hand through his matted hair.

When had he last taken a shower? The question popped up in his head for the briefest second, but it was gone just as quickly. It didn't matter. He never saw anyone: his parents didn't visit and he certainly didn't have any friends to make calls to see him.

The only hygiene Gary seemed to take part in was brushing his teeth, and that was done mainly to get rid of the taste of the disgustingly bland food they pushed through the slot in his door and the aftertaste of pills.

He wondered what he looked like now. Gary hadn't used a mirror in a while, partially because he had no cause to see the inevitable train wreck that was his face, but also because the institution avoided providing them for fear of "accidental" injury.

Gary, however, wasn't much affected by the institute's rules. He was never one for beauty, he was a boy (1) after all and unlike Petey, could stand the sight of dirt and grime... he just preferred not to be gross.

It helped to at least look and smell human when manipulating people, and Gary supposed he looked well enough, or else no one would have put up with his bullshit for as long as they had.

"AHEM."

Gary looked up, suddenly reminded of the imaginary girl that sat in his room, trying to regain his attention.

You looked annoyed. "To answer your question: yes. I do think I bore you, because you're boring," you pause, thinking and then adding, "at least when you're like this."

Gary gave you a hard look, eyes steeled, annoyed. But, before he could say anything, you changed the subject. "Wasn't there something important we were thinking about a few hours ago?"

"I said no." Gary responded. "I'm getting out in three weeks; I can hold out for that long."

It was now your turn to be annoyed. "If you had listened to me before, we would already be out." You stood from your chair and moved back to Gary.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pushing yourself against him, your mouths close enough for Gary to imagine the way your breath would feel against his lips. You trailed a finger along his jaw, eyes half-lidded as you spoke. "Remember dearest little Theodore? Compromise is key, you know that."

Gary's fists clenched at the mention of his previous roommate's name. He was plenty of fun, sure, but became too much of a nuisance when he began to question Gary's habits. As if Theodore was the picture of perfection.

The guy was a tweaker with an addictive personality and a superiority complex over anyone with less muscle mass than him. Despite previously taking Gary's orders without question, he slowly became less submissive and began to challenge Gary.

Gary already had a plan laid out to set Theodore in line. The guy had a diary in which he kept all his detailed essays on murder, both potential and most likely finished deeds. There was enough information to make sure shocks wasn't the only therapy he would be getting. But, before Gary could initiate his plan, Theo was let out and Gary was put in solitary confinement.

Go figure.

With a less obvious twitch, Theodore was released back into society, but Gary wasn't so sure the murder urge was ever solved, not that he cared. It was less than likely Gary would ever encounter the guy again.

"What about him?" Gary asked, curious, but already hearing the answer formulating in his head.

"He gave in, and they released him." You purred, pressing softly with the pads of your fingertips against the curve of his chin. "We both know he wasn't sane; if anything, the 'treatment' they gave him made him worse. Who knows what drugs he has gotten into or women he has strangled outside."

"Who cares," Gary shot back, tired of your talk. He knew what you were getting at, but you weren't considering all the angles. "He was a coward. He lost to them and I refuse to do that. I'm better than them--all of them. Especially Jimmy."

"Maybe, maybe not." you called in a sing-songy voice, "But Jimmy is outside, and where are we--?" Gary launched at you then, intending on pinning you and forcing you to recant the fucking sin you just spoke.

He met nothing but air.

His hands went through you, like a ghost, and you giggled, remaining everlasting in the amusement you displayed, "Are you sure you can last three more weeks? You're attacking apparitions now."

Quietly, Gary backed off and fell to his bed.

There was silence for a while, but just when he thought you left, you laughed to yourself and Gary found himself asking, against his better judgment what for.

You gave him a smile, but not just any smile--it was dark and venomous and Gary would have regretted asking if he ever regretted anything. "I was just thinking how we're alike; almost twins in our tragic situations.

"You're stuck inside a shit hole," you grinned, "and I'm stuck inside a shithead."

If Gary had the ability to make you real, he would have done several things, but first and foremost he would have destroyed you and made you enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)Gary is a bit of a sexist.


	3. bang

chapter three: bang

Returning to school wasn't the most interesting thing Gary has done, but he felt it was worth something since he was finally outside and not stuck in a cell like a prisoner.

Gary's parents picked him up three days prior to the beginning of the actual school year; they weren't going to be able to bring him in otherwise due to some unfortunately timed vacation and didn't trust him well enough to take himself there at the appropriate time... or at all, really.

The ride to Bullworth was awkward, but not anymore awkward than when they picked him up from Happy Volts after the stunt he pulled last year. His parents were incredibly dull, dry creatures.

And Gary was the freak of the family; the odd ball who was seen as crazy by his aunts and uncles, made into a shame, a black spot on the Smith name. His cousins would always be briefed on stayinh away from him during family reunions. He was a monster. But, ironically, the monsters they should really have been worrying about were hiding in their closets.

Hypocrites.

He hated them, almost as much as he hated Bullworth, but not as much as he hated Jimmy.

"Jimmy, Jimmy..." you murmured, delicately tapping your puckered bottom lip as you sat beside Gary. "That name rings a bell." You were taunting him again. It seemed he liked to torture himself with you, you were his self-deprecating side.

Gary didn't give you an answer, he was too busy working out plans... what plans? He couldn't remember. You always distracted him.

"Shut up." Gary hissed.

You scoffed, "Why should I? When I try to think all I can hear are your fucking thoughts. Do you know what it's like to constantly hear the words of a psychopath ring in your ears--wait, of course you do."

It was a weak insult. If he was a psychopath, what did that make you? Well, nothing. You weren't real. Honestly, he was almost getting sick of you appearing out of thin air.

Gary usually imagined you when he wasn't paying attention, when he found himself thinking a little too much. You were like an itch he didn't notice until something caught on it, a piece of cloth to a thought of something he had believed was important at the time. But... that couldn't be right.

Jimmy was not important. He was an ant, a pathetic accident that just so happened to be the key to Gary's demise. The mere mention of Jimmy set Gary's teeth on edge.

"Oh, don't fret, Gary." You said, popping the wrong side of a lit cigarette into your mouth and moving closer to him, "Take a drag."

Gary waved you off. It should have disgusted him how overtly sexualised his mind made you. What you would do to get him riled up, to make him hate himself more than he hated the world. It reminded him of how deprived he actually was. He briefly wondered what the girls at Bullworth would be like now that everyone was older.

"I wouldn't get my hopes up," you replied, though in his mind you sounded much more bitter than you should have considering the circumstances of your non-existence.

It was as you disappeared that the car stopped and Gary's parents sent him on his way. The Smiths didn't bother with formalities. They never said "I love you" and Gary never stopped to think that they should. Their exchanges were always just business. And frankly, that suit Gary just fine.

Grabbing his bag, Gary exited the car and turned to face the gate only to stop dead in his tracks. His eyes almost widened in shock.

You were standing there, his imaginary... annoyance. Except you were real. And not. You were on crutches and sporting a feminine suit ensemble that resembled the uniforms prefects wore.

You smiled. "Hey, welcome back to Bullworth Academy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE:  
> Chapters are going to be shorter and more spread out during October. You can probably count on only seeing two chapters maximum next month due to my current schedule. The Equation is being worked on as well as several other stories and a project that may or may not be a South Park sim game--that will be posted on my DeviantArt--if I finally get my coding shit together. Hopefully, the stories will be trickling out during the holiday season. 
> 
> I'm also participating in the yearly NaNoWriMo! If anyone is interested in joining me, message me and we can be buddies! That's all for now, thank you for reading.


	4. epiphany

chapter four: epiphany

You were a real person, much to Gary's surprise. But you didn't look like much; you were frail and thin and lacking the part of your leg below your knee, but even still, you held an air of boldness, maybe even confidence, that Gary disliked.

"You're Smith, right?" You asked, hobbling over to him with that disgustingly friendly smile on your all-too cheery face.

Gary grimaced, a sour taste stinging his taste buds. He was thinking, calculating and trying to understand why you were here in one-hundred percent clarity. You weren't supposed to be  _here_. 

Was... was he dreaming?

You laughed awkwardly and instantly Gary's spine went rigid. Did you hear what he said? However, his theory was proven wrong when you showed no indication that he had, in fact, said anything even remotely damning. Instead, you gave him your name.

It was then that it struck Gary. He hadn't ever really thought you had a name. He didn't give his imagination a name and it sure as hell didn't bother naming itself. You were just the girl that mocked him and showed up at the most inconvenient times. 

You caused his anger to flare and his chest to swell with so many emotions it would have made him dizzy if he were any lesser man.

You weren't real. You weren't supposed to be real. But there was nothing more convincing than seeing that lie breathing and fucking  _smiling_  right in front of him. 

"Crabblesnitch wanted me to escort you to his office." you explained after clearing your throat. You motioned for Gary to follow behind you as you unlocked and opened the academy gates.

Gary scoffed, keeping his composure in an attempt to ward any suspicion you might have of him off. "They must not be scared of me anymore." 

There was a misplaced humor in his voice and as he looked at you he made sure the only thing you saw on the surface was the pure contempt he felt towards you. 

You frowned and against your better judgement asked him to clarify his statement. "What do you mean?"

With a vicious half grin, half snarl, Gary replied. "They actually sent a cripple to get me. After all I did last year, this--you are the best they could do." He rolled his eyes, as if disgusted. "Fucking unbelievable."

You visibly bristled, but kept your poise better than Gary expected. "Look," you began, running a hand through your hair as you slowly moved in a different direction than the office, "you know where the Headmaster is. If you need any help settling in I'll be around campus. Have a nice day."

Gary didn't return your false well-wishing. It sounded more like "fuck you" and in any case, it didn't matter. As you wandered farther and farther away, Gary felt his agitation dissipate.

You weren't supposed to be scared of him, you were supposed to challenge him, bait him and make him eat his fucking words. The anger was gone, sure, but all he felt now was numb.

\--

Crabblesnitch was as boring as ever. Gary could only remember the wordy attribute of his speech and the idea of keeping whatever bodily orifice clean. In all honesty, he couldn't care less. Crabblesnitch was a small cog in the workings of the school. 

The big fry was Jimmy. The king of the school, the untouchable moron that everyone seemed to adore. Gary could barely stand in his presence, let alone get close to him.

After the stunt he pulled last year, the ties Gary pulled taut and snipped at their bases, the wires he snapped and the puppets he burnt... He would be lucky if anyone could stomach to look at him without the urge to gut him clean.

But Gary needed someone to vouch for him, someone to take the blame off, to make them believe, if only for a second, he was one of the good guys now. But no one, not even Petey would--... except, maybe...

Hurriedly, Gary exited the main building. Slipping past students and prefects alike, quickly mapping out the details of his plan like a modern day Da Vinci that painted schemes instead of portraits, an artist of a different kind.

It didn't take very long for Gary to enter his room and lock the door. He couldn't be disturbed; he was riding high on his new found epiphany.

But as he fell into his bed, intent on conjuring ideas and statistics, you appeared with a grin that belong somewhere in a horror movie. 

"You must have saw Her last year." You said as you moved to sit on top of Gary, that same dirty grin plastered on your face. "She's cute."

Gary grumbled, and attempted to push you off, but as his hands touched your hips, you made a gasping sound that made him rethink his position more clearly. "I don't have time for this."

You giggled, "Of course you do." you touched his cheek, mimicking the kind gesture of a lover, "Talk to Her, befriend Her, manipulate Her. Do anything you want, except, ya' know... kill Her. That wouldn't be fun."

"I don't kill people." Gary responded, "You should know that."

"Ah, yes." You replied, pinching a strand of his hair between your fore and thumb fingers. "Murder is too simple for the Great Gary Smith." you rolled your eyes and leaned back, "All I'm saying is that you need to take this slow; don't fuck this up."

Gary frowned and sat up with an amused grin, "What does it matter to you what I do with Her?" A scoff. "You're invisible, non-existent."

You shrugged and fell to your side, cuddling up beside Gary as you traced shapes against his chest. "Maybe one day I can be real too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sort of pissed off about this chapter because, like an idiot, I deleted half of the stuff I wrote, so it's a short chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed anyway.


	5. ignore me

chapter five: ignore me

Gary didn't remember what time he fell asleep last night. He very vaguely recollected your presence, only remembering the way you pressed against his chest, fit snugly against his side, while the silence lulled him into a trance-like stupor. And then it was morning.

The dorm was louder than it had been yesterday, but Gary couldn't have expected anything else. Today was the day that the students, the "normal" ones, moved in. And as much as Gary hated being alone, he couldn't help the irritation he felt because they were all so damn obnoxious.

Gary couldn't think when they were around. The sound... the fucking _noise_ , the non-stop groaning and bitching took weeks to get used to and Gary didn't have weeks.

Jimmy and Petey were going to show up soon and when they did he would never be alone long enough to hatch a plan. He knew that they would harass him, keep him distracted and at least too preoccupied to slip off and cause mayhem or set any plans in motion. 

So, he had to be smart--smarter than all of them. He couldn't be sloppy, he had no room for error.

He couldn't fuck up this time.

It was as Gary thought this that someone knocked on his door. He groaned and turned in his bed, unwilling to respond verbally, let alone bother getting up to answer whatever asshole decided to visit him.

Gary had a headache, one side effect of many that the pills he took had. Even though he hated the thought of giving in to the doctors that locked in him away like a criminal, he needed to take their medicine. The pills calmed him... and with them he couldn't be rash or make anyone suspicious and he definitely wouldn't be as apt to lose his shit.

But he knew he couldn't rely on the pills forever. He would need--no, he _wanted_ to find a way to ween himself off... he just needed time to concentrate. He could come up with a plan, couldn't he? 

Of course he could. Gary was not some half-assed one trick pony. He had a whole fucking bag of tricks. He just needed time to find it.

"Smith!" you yelled through his door, banging on it several more times for emphasis, "I know you're up! We need to talk, meet me outside!"

Gary's brows furrowed; he certainly didn't expect you this early in the morning. What could you possibly want from him bad enough that you would push through the crowds of people he knew were inside the dorm? 

Unlike your imaginary counterpart you had no reason to disturb him, but there was no other explanation he could currently think of--unless...

\--

Gary wasted no time crossing the expanse of the yard to reach you, his expression furious. 

"What the fuck do you want?" Gary growled, getting close enough to you so that he could practically feel the amusement radiate off your body.

You smiled, giving him a nod as you stood to your full height supported by your crutches. "Well, good morning, Sunshine." you adjusted your stance before continuing. "You look like hell. Did I interrupt your beauty sleep?"

Gary had half a mind to grab you by your collar and ~~hitkissfuck~~ _intimidate_ you... or whatever. What the hell was wrong with him? What? Couldn't he think past the head in his jeans for once?

Pathetic.

As if hearing his thoughts, you nodded to his state of dress, "Not exactly what I expected you to wear on our first date, but I'm not going to judge."

"Excuse me?" Gary managed, gritting his teeth.

You chuckled, but that only served to piss Gary off more. You didn't seem to notice or care, however. "It was a joke." you looked him up and down before motioning for him to follow you, "C'mon. I'll buy us some breakfast; you sure look like you need it."

Gary grabbed your arm before you could get fully out of reach. Immediately you whipped around and used one of your crutches to smack his shin with a resounding _**THWAP**_. Instantly he released you and hissed. Gary reached down to rub the pain out of his leg while glaring at you. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with you?!" You replied, angry, "I invited you to breakfast, not to fucking touch me."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell you want." Gary snarled, debating on whether it would be appropriate to trip you while you were walking next time he saw you.

You pinched the bridge of your nose before sighing dramatically. "I was planning on explaining during breakfast, but apparently you're such a stubborn fuc--" you paused to regain your composure, cleared your throat and then continued in a more professional manner. "I'm...--Crabblesnitch decided that it would be best if you had someone escort you to your classes for the school year."

Gary clenched his teeth. He couldn't say that he was surprised, he had guessed this very situation before he left the dorm. It was the main reason he was so fucking angry when he started talking to you, but he just didn't expect his guess to be right.

Taking Gary's silence as a sign for you to keep talking, you leaned awkwardly against the pillar behind you and avoided eye contact with him as you spoke. "Crabblesnitch was given an anonymous tip that you would probably be in danger since many students are still... _bitter_ about what happened last year." you rubbed the back of your neck, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation. "So, to avoid any lawsuits from your parents, or anyone else's, in the event that anything does happen, Crabblesnitch assigned me to watch over you for the time being."

Gary couldn't find the words to express his anger, he was dumbfounded and for once he had nothing smart to say. He might be hurt, more than likely beaten within an inch of his life by any number of students at any given time and you were supposed to be the one to "protect" him?

You, the tiny, one-footed girl of probably no more than ninety fucking pounds, were expected to keep him safe? 

Crabblesnitch must really, actually hate him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause between posting; I haven't had much inspiration unfortunately. I have still been trying to work on it, but editing both this story and several others is kind of time consuming. I will try my best to keep posting as regularly as possible, but I can't make any promises. Hopefully, I'll be able to crank out a few more chapters before the end of the year... That's not saying I will put this story on hiatus when the new year comes, but posts will definitely be less frequent due to some foreseeable complications in my school schedule. 
> 
> If you see any errors, please tell me so that I can fix them. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
